Dont Marry !!

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has,you wish you had ordered that.

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another,"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?
"The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."

Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is really finished.

Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and the woman gets her master's.

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
And the father replied, "I don't know,son,I'm still paying for it."

Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late.

A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the wife takes.

When a newly married man looks happy we know why.But when a ten-year married man looks happy - we wonder why.

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know,I was a fool when I married you."
And the husband replied,"Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."

It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job,he still ends up with the same boss.

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted".
Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,you can be sure of one thing:
either the wife is new or the car.

A woman was telling her friend , "It is I who made my husband a millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him." Asked the friend. The woman replied, "A multimillionaire".

Marriage is love . Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind.

Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes.

It is true that love is blind but marriage is definitely an eye-opener.

They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage,it is love; after marriage it is self-defence.

There's was this lover who told his love that he would go through hell for her.
They got married - and now he is going through HELL !

Life Before the Computer

An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A keyboard was a piano!
Memory was something that you lost with age
A CD was a bank account
And if you had a 3 ½ inch floppy
You hoped nobody found out!
Compress was something you did to garbage
Not something you did to a file
And if you unzipped anything in public
You'd be in jail for awhile!
Log on was adding wood to a fire
Hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
Cut - you did with a pocket knife
Paste you did with glue
A web was a spider's home
And a virus was the flu!

Keep Alive ... Keep Awake..

A delightful story is told about a young man who
applied for a job as a telegraph operator.
He answered an ad in the newspaper and went to the
telegraph office to await an interview.
Though he knew Morse Code and was
qualified in every other way, seven other applicants
were also waiting in the large, noisy office.
He saw customers coming and going and heard a
telegraph clacking away in the background.
He also noticed a sign on the receptionist's counter
instructing applicants to fill out a form and wait to
be summoned to an inner office for an interview.
He filled out the form and sat down to wait.
After a few minutes, the young man stood up, crossed
the room to the door of the inner office,
and walked right in. Naturally the other applicants
perked up, wondering why he had been so bold.
They talked among themselves and finally determined that,
since nobody had been summoned to interview
yet, the man would likely be reprimanded for not following
instructions and possibly disqualified for the job.
Within a few minutes, however, the young man emerged
from the inner office escorted by the interviewer,
who announced to the other applicants,
"Thank you all very much for coming, but the job has just
been filled."
They were all confused and one man spoke up:
"Wait a minute -- I don't understand.
We've been waiting longer than he and we never even got a
chance to be interviewed."
The employer responded, "All the time you've been
sitting here, the telegraph has been ticking out the following message:
'If you understand this, then come right in. The job is yours.' So you
see, all of you were summoned, but HE heard and understood!"
This man knew a valuable life-lesson that most people
miss:
Wherever You Are, Be There.
You're there physically, be there emotionally.
Be there mentally. Be there attentively.
Be there as fully as you can.

Wherever you are, be there.
When you're completely present, you'll make the
most of every minute. And minutes lived fully add up
to a life lived magnificently.

If you want to make your dreams come true, the
first thing you have to do is wake up.

God Exists or Not !!

A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and
his beard trimmed. As
the barber began to work, they began to have a
good conversation.
They talked about so many things and various
subjects. When they
eventually touched on the subject of God, the
barber said: "I don't
believe that God exists."
"Why do you say that?" asked the customer.
"Well, you just have to go out in the street to
realize that God
doesn't exist. Tell me, if God exists, would
there be so many sick
people? Would there be abandoned children? If
God existed, there
would be neither suffering nor pain. I can't
imagine a loving a God
who would allow all of these things."
The customer thought for a moment, but didn't
respond because he
didn't want to start an argument. The barber
finished his job and
the customer left the shop. Just after he left
the barbershop, he
saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an
untrimmed beard.
He looked dirty and unkempt..
The customer turned back and entered the barber
shop again and he
said to the barber: "You know what? Barbers do
not exist."
"How can you say that?" asked the surprised
barber. "I am here, and
I am a barber. And I just worked on you!"
"No!" the customer exclaimed. "Barbers don't
exist because if they
did, there would be no people with dirty long
hair and untrimmed
beards, like that man outside."
"Ah, but barbers DO exist! " answered the
barber. " What happens,
is, people do not come to me."
"Exactly!"- affirmed the customer. "That's the
point! God, too, DOES exist! What happens, is,
people don't go to Him and do not look for
Him. That's why there's so much pain and
suffering in the world."
If you think God exists, forward this on to
other people---
If you think God does not exist, just delete it!

Letter from her Daughter

One evening recently, a mother entered her daughter's bedroom to
discover it empty. As she looked around, she spied a letter over the
bed. With trembling hands and a terrible sense of premonition, she
read....
Dear Mom;
Please don't be mad, but I eloped with my new boyfriend. I finally
found real love and he is so nice Mom, with all his piercings and
tattoos and his big Harley. Not only that, I'm pregnant and Ahmed says
we're going to be really happy in his trailer in
the woods.
He wants to have lots more children with me and you know that's one of
my dreams too. Also, he taught me that marijuana doesn't hurt anyone
and we're going to grow it for us and his friends, who
will pay us by giving us all the cocaine and ecstasy we'll
ever need and we'll pray every day for scientists! to find the cure
for
AIDS so that Ahmed can get better. He deserves it.
Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take
care of myself. Some day I'll visit so you can get to know your
grandchildren.
Your daughter, Judith
After fainting, Mom came to and read the rest of the letter....
PS: Mom, it's not true. I'm next door at Janey's house. I
just wanted to show you that there are worse things in life than the
report card on my desk... love you!

More Points to Ponder !!

** Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while driving.

** Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.

** Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is husband !

** I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash

** A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.

** Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

** Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without,,, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.

** You can't buy love . . . but you pay heavily for it

** True friends stab you in the front

** Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.

** Bad politicians are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

** Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired

** Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

** My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.

** Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

** Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

** A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

** You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.

** It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

** Early to bed,early to rise,your girl goes out with other guys.

** Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.

** Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

** Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something

** They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.

Reminder to all of you working so HARD in LIFE.... its really a Hard Life

A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year-old son waiting for him at the door.

Son: "Daddy, May I ask you a question"
Daddy: "Yeah sure, what it is?"
Son: "Dad, how much do you make an hour"

Daddy: "That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing? "that man said angrily.

Son: "I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?"

Daddy: "I make Rs. 500 an hour"

"Oh", the little boy replied, with his head down. Looking up,he said, "Dad, may I please borrow Rs.300?"

The father was furious, "if the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or other nonsense, then march yourself to your room and go to bed. Think why you are being so selfish. I work hard everyday for such this childish
behavior"

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door. The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?

After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think: May be there was something he really needed to buy with that Rs. 300 and he really didn't ask for money very often!"

The man went to the door of little boy's room and opened the door. "Are you asleep, son?" He aked.
"No daddy, I'm awake," replied the boy.

"I've been thinking, may be I was too hard on you earlier",said the man, It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you.Here's the Rs.300 you asked for. The little boy sat straight up, smiling "oh thank you dad!" He yelled.

Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled some more crippled up notes. The man, seeing that the boy already had money, started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, then looked up at his father.

"Why do you want money if you already had some?" the father grumbled.

"Because I didn't have enough, but now I do," the little boy replied.

"Daddy I have Rs. 500 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you. "
MORAL:

It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life.
We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us,
those close to our hearts.


If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days.
But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.
And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than to our family. An unwise investment indeed!

You know what's the full expansion of FAMILY?
FAMILY = (F)ATHER (A)ND (M)OTHER (I) (L)OVE (Y)OU.

Remememembererer: Whatever Happens, Happens For a Reason :)

1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.


2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.


3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love
you with all they have.

4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.


5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.


6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your
smile.


7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.


8. Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.


9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when
we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.


10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.


11. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on
trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.

12. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and
expect them to know you.


13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.

Just Read it ..

Lessons in Logic
If your father is a poor man,
it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man,
it's your stupidity.
.....................................................................
I was born intelligent -
education ruined me.
........................................................................
Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect......
so why practice?
........................................................................
If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?
........................................................................
Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.
...................................................................... .
How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?
........................................................................
Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.
........................................................................
One should love animals.
They are so tasty.
.........................................................................
Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
........................................................................
Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in
life.
........................................................................
The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.
........................................................................
Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.
........................................................................
Never put off the work till tomorrow
what you can put off today.
........................................................................
"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep
........................................................................
There should be a better way to start a day
Than waking up every morning
........................................................................
"Hard work never killed anybody"
But why take the risk
........................................................................
"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours
........................................................................
God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.
........................................................................
The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. why learn.
........................................................................
A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station....
what more can I say........

rubal.net

get started for coool stuff when it comes to great fan club collections...
Rubal Jain

" HOPE " IS A WONDERFUL THOUGHT

If you can look at the sunset and smile,
then you still have hope.
If you can find beauty in the colors of a small flower,
then you still have hope.
If you can find pleasure in the movement of a butterfly,
then you still have hope.
If the smile of a child can still warm your heart,
then you still have hope.
If you can see the good in other people,
then you still have hope.
If the rain breaking on a roof top can still lull you to sleep,
then you still have hope.
If the sight of a rainbow still makes you stop and stare in wonder,
then you still have hope.
If the soft fur of a favored pet still feels pleasant under your fingertips,
then you still have hope.
If you meet new people with a trace of excitement and optimism,
then you still have hope.
If you give people the benefit of a doubt,
then you still have hope.
If you still offer your hand in friendship to others that have touched your life,
then you still have hope.
If receiving an unexpected card or letter still brings a pleasant surprise,
then you still have hope.
If the suffering of others still fills yours with pain and frustration,
then you still have hope.
If you refuse to let a friendship die,or accept that it must end,
then you still have hope.
If you look forward to a time or place of quiet and reflection,
then you still have hope.
If you still buy the ornaments, put up the Christmas tree or cook the supper,
then you still have hope.
If you can look to the past and smile,
then you still have hope.
If, when faced with the bad,when told everything is futile,you can still look up and end the conversation with the phrase..."yeah...BUT.,"
then you still have hope.
Hope is such a marvelous thing.
It bends, it twists, it sometimes hides, but rarely does it break.
It sustains us when nothing else can.
It gives us reason to continue and courage to move ahead,
when we tell ourselves we'd rather give in.
Hope puts a smile on our face when the heart cannot manage.
Hope puts our feet on the path when our eyes cannot see it.
Hope moves us to act when our souls are confused of the direction.
Hope is a wonderful thing,something to be cherished and nurtured,
and something that will refresh us in return.
And it can be found in each of us,
and it can bring light into the darkest of places.
NEVER LOSE HOPE!

Shayaris

===============================
Kadam Kadam Pe Hawao Se Talluk Rakhna,
Dosti Ke Daur Pe Dosti Ka Aasra Rakhna,
Hamari Yaad Ke Sms Zaroor Aayenge
Aap Bas Apna Inbox Khali Rakhna...!!!
===============================
Khuda se Scooter manga.. Car di
Apartment manga.. bangla diya
Dost manga to tumhain diya..
Khuda ne is bar aisa zulm kyoun kia
===============================
Na woh inkaar karti hai
Na woh ikraar karti hai
KAMBAKHT mere hi sapno mein aakar
Mere dost se pyaar karti hai.
===============================
haseen tum ho to bure hum bi nahi,
mahalo mein tum ho to sadak par hum bhi nahi,
pyar karke kehte ho shaadi shuda ho,
kaan kholkar sunlo. kunware hum bhi nahi.
===============================
Jab Jab gire Baadal, Teri Yaad aayi
Jhoom ke barsa Saawan, Teri Yaad aayi
Bheega main, lekin phir bhi teri Yaad aayi
Kyon na aaye teri yaad? Tune jo chatri ab tak nahi lautai...
===============================
Bolaa dukaan-daar, ke kyaa chahiye tumhain
Jo bhii kaho ge merii dukaan per wo paoge
maine kahaa ke kutte ke khaane kaa cake hai
bolaa yahiin pe khaaoge yaa leke jaaoge!!!!:?
===============================
A sardar went to a party with his family.
He introduces his family to a friend :
main sardar, yeh sardarnee,
yeh mera kid aur yeh kidney.
===============================
Tumko dekha....tumko dekha...
Tumko dekha....to yeh khayal aaya
paaglon ke stock mein naya maal aaya!
===============================
Idhar khuda hai, udar khuda hai,
jidar dekho udar khuda hai,
idhar-udhar bus khuda hi khuda hai
jidhar nahi khuda hai....udhar kal khudega!
===============================
The night is dark, the moon is high,
I stop my car, u ask why?
I come close to u, u feel shy,
I tell u those three magical words....
Hye La, Puncture!!!
===============================
Tumsa koi dusara jameen par hua
to rab se shikayat hogi....
Ek to jehlla nahi jata
doosra aa gaya to kya halat hogi!!!
===============================
Koi pathar se na maare mere dewaane ko........
koi pathar se na maare mere dewaane ko........
koi pathar se na maare mere dewaane ko........
abe aage bhi to bol...............
nuclear power ka jamaana hai, bomb se udaa do saale ko...................
===============================
tuhaar chehraa moti samaan ..
tuhaar chehraa moti samaan...
moti hamaar kutte ka naam!!
===============================
Durakht ke paymane pe chilman E husn ka furkat se sharmana...
Durakht ke paymane pe chilman E husn ka furkat se sharmana...
Ye line samajh me aaye to mujhe zaroor batana!!
===============================
tere dar pe sanam hazar baar aayenge,
tere dar pe sanam hazar baar aayenge.....
ghanti bajayenge aur bhaag jayenge !!
===============================
Jis waqt khuda ne tumhe banaya hoga, ek saroor sa uske
dil pe chaya hoga...pehle socha hoga tujhe jannat mein
rakh lun..phir usse zoo ka khayal aaya hoga!!!
===============================
Mere marne ke baad mere doston,
yu aansoo na bahana,
Agar meri yaad aaye to,
sidhe upar chale aana!!
===============================
Kyon apni kabar khud-hi khod raha hai Galib...
Kyon apni kabar khud-hi khod raha hai Galib...
La, phawda mujhe de!!
===============================
Tumko dekha to ek khyal aaya
Tumko dekha to ek khyal aaya
Tumhari saheli ko dekha to doosra khayal aaya!!
===============================
Na woh inkaar karti hai
Na woh ikraar karti hai
KAMBAKHT mere hi sapno mein aakar
Mere dost se pyaar karti hai.
===============================
Jab Jab gire Baadal, Teri Yaad aayi
Jhoom ke barsa Saawan, Teri Yaad aayi
Bheega main,lekin phir bhi teri Yaad aayi
Kyon na aaye teri yaad? Tune jo chatri ab tak nahi lautai...
===============================
Bolaa dukaan-daar, ke kyaa chahiye tumhain
Jo bhii kaho ge merii dukaan per wo paoge
maine kahaa ke kutte ke khaane kaa cake hai
bolaa yahiin pe khaaoge yaa leke jaaoge!!!!:?
===============================
Unki gali ke chakkar kaat kaat kar,
Kutte bhi hamare yaar ho gaye,
Wo to hamare ho na sake,
Hum kutton ke sardar ho gaye...
===============================
haseen tum ho to bure hum bi nahi,
mahlon mein tum ho to sadak par hum bhi nahi,
pyar karke kehte ho shaadi shuda ho,
kaan kholkar sunlo. kunware hum bhi nahi.
===============================
Macchar ne jo kata... dil main mere junoon tha.
Khujli hui itni... dil be-sukoon tha.
Pakada to chod diya yeh soch kar ki....
sale ki ragon main apna hi khoon tha!
==============================
Aaj didar, kal yaar, parso pyar, phir ekrar, aur phir-intezaar,
phir-takrar,phir-darar, saari mehnat-bekar, aur akhir mein-Ek aur
devdas at beer bar!
==============================
Aisa bhi nahin hai ke
I don't like your face.
Par dil ke storage mein
no more disk space...
===============================
Ghar se jab tum nikale
pehen ke reshmi gown.
Jaane kitne dilon ka
ho gaya server down...
===============================
Kal jab mile thhe
to dil mein hua ek sound.
Aur aaj mile to kehte hain
your file not found!
===============================
Jo muddat se hota aaya hai,
woh repeat kar doonga...
Tu naa mili to apni zindagi
ctrl+alt+delete kar doonga...
===============================
Shayad mere pyar ko
taste karna bhool gaye...
Dil sey aisa cut kiya
ke paste karna bhool gaye...
===============================
Laakhon honge nigaah mein
kabhi mujhe bhi pick karo...
Mere pyaar ke icon pe
Kabhi to double-click karo...
===============================
Roz subha hum karte hain
pyar se unhe good morning...
Woh aise ghoor ke dekte hain
jaise 0 errors aur 5 warning...
===============================
Nazar mein to kai hain
aur shaayad lonely hain...
Problem yehi hai ki voh
ab read only hain...
===============================
Tumhaare intezaar mein
neend aayee so gaya.
Yeh dekho mera connection
time out ho gaya...
Wah...Wah..Wah !!!
===============================

Letter to Bill Gates

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,
This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a computer for our home and we find some problems which I want to bring to your notice. After connecting to internet we plan to open e-mail account and whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in password column only ****** comes, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed comes, but we face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard. Because of this we open the e-mail account with password ***** but I request you to check this as ourselves we do not know what is the password.

We are unable to enter anything after we click the shut down button. There is a button 'start' but there is no stop button.We request you to check this. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friend clicked 'run' has ran upto Amritsar. So, we request you to change that to sit so that we can click that by sitting. One doubt is that any 're-scooter' available in system? As I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.Also there is 'find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this 'find', but unable to trace. Is it a bug??

Thanks,
Banta

Slogans 4 me ......

@ Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

@ Wise men talk because they have something to say;
fools talk because they have to say something..............

@ Please remind me to remind U about reminding me to send U this reminder
that reminds me of reminding U that U never have to remind me to
remember U...that I always Do...!!!!

@ Arguing with your Boss is like 'wrestling with a pig in mud'. After a while, you realize that while you are getting dirty, the pig is actually 'enjoying it'.

@ It's all right to make mistakes - as long as you erase them and try again as being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect. It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections!

@ Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

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